Looking in the shop window, I noticed someone very mysterious. They were identical to me and presenting the same puzzled look. The same flouro t-shirt, plain, ordinary shorts, that were slightly ripped. My face crumpled up, left bewildered, as the other citizen copied every gesture. A weird connection was built between us. My Hair was strapped back tightly with wisps hidden behind each ear, and so was hers?
I tried to run away and she suddenly disappeared. Sighing in relief, I carried on walking; keeping a watchful eye on every corner, just in case she was looming in the darkness spying, watching, my every move cunningly. Approaching another shop window I see her again.
Halting to a stop, while she did the same thing. I sit mystified, wondering ''how did she get to this shop so fast?'' Shifting from side to side, Making quick motions, seeing if she would follow, and she does. Finally I decide to confront this copy cat, that is making my insides shiver nervously.
Slamming open the door I see... Nothing. Just lollies and a person asking '' What would you like young lady''. Barely saying no, I walk off clueless, Thinking who was that greedy person? How did she suggest my every move?
If only my reflection didn't get the better of me!

Wow! Madaline what a fantastic story. It's fantastic you worked a theme into your story about the reflection of yourself driving your greed for lollies. That really is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteGreat piece of writing. I'm going to shate it with my class on Monday. Keep up the great writing.
ReplyDeleteMadaline
ReplyDeleteNot to sound repetitive but just wanted to repeat whats already been said - this is a fantastic piece of writing and its got a great 'hook' at the end of it which I really enjoyed. One thing that you could consider is the illustration that went with this post you could either create your own or give credit where you searched it from. The writing is fantastic. Mr Chittenden would love reading this.
Mr Webb
Great story Madaline I love your launguage featers great job but the best part I liked is the begining
ReplyDeleteJorja room4